A few days ago, in the wee hours of the morning, I woke up with a really bad headache. I felt so sick that I got up to take something for it, and as I got back in bed, I wondered to myself why we have to suffer and go through pain. What is the purpose for suffering? In my case, I realized that suffering brings me closer to God, because that's when I really turn to him for help - through prayer and supplication, asking Him to help me through it.
Then my thoughts turned to our Savior's suffering and to His atonement, and I realized that He had not only suffered for our sins, but He had suffered for all our sicknesses and pains of every kind, both mental and physical. It was incomprehensible to me how He could have accomplished this: suffering for all mankind all at once for everyone who would ever live on this earth, and other earths, as well. I was having trouble handling the pain of my own headache!! How awful, I thought, that our Heavenly Father would ask Him to do such a horrendously painful thing! How awful that it had to be done! I thought how much our Heavenly Father must REALLY love us to have asked His beloved Son to go through such a thing. I thought of how hard it must have been for our Father to ask this of Jesus; how much it must have hurt Him.
Then, clearly to my mind, came this thought: "The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do."(John 5:19) And, "When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me."(John 8:28)
I realized then, like I never had before, that the Father knew exactly what He was asking of Jesus. He had experienced it Himself. He had been a Savior and suffered the same way Christ did in another time and place. He wasn't asking anything of His Son that He hadn't been willing to do Himself. I realized how important the plan of salvation really is. I never want to take repentance for granted, for I was truly bought with a price - and that price, even for me, just one person, was incomprehensible suffering. How could I have anything but adoration for my Savior, my closest Friend.
I still don't completely understand why there has to be suffering, but I think it might be tied to our joy. Maybe if we weren't capable of great suffering, we wouldn't be capable of great joy. Having each of my children has brought me the greatest joy I have experienced in my life. Giving birth to them, also brought me the greatest physical suffering I have ever experienced. My great love for them, I believe in part, comes from what I went through for them. By that same token, I am able to better understand why the Savior loves each of us so much. His suffering for each of us individually during His atonement, connected Him to us more than could have happened in any other way. Because of this, I know that He will do all He can to help me become the kind of person I need to be and to stand clean in His presence. It gives me great peace and hope. I want to praise His name forever!
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